ALMOST

This is probably the first time this has happened to me, but you know what they say "the is a first time for everything". I ALMOST settled for less than I had anticipated.I have never been good at compromising but this time I was ready for it. Thank God I am slow to being venerable(its easier being tough) and he lost patience with me. I  had send him a text saying how much I miss just being held by him. Then it happened "the phone call" apparently he is getting married to some girl he met  six months ago. It was so casual on his side I could literally vomit.I didn't know what to say, I said something but  I don't remember exactly what, as my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to pop out. You see we never had anything concrete in the literal sense. He wanted us to try dating at one point but he did not pursue me the way I wanted him to pursue me.Did that mean I did not want him?of course not! I  just didn't want to drop my standards. I knew he was not giving  his all yet I had so much faith in him. Thought he will one day handle his business the right way!

 I ask myself what is it I got wrong and she got right(never thought I- Tshidi will think like this). Maybe its because she has a degree and I don't, seriously this has to be it. OK,OK this is not my original idea that's just what most of my guy friends are saying. If this is the case then I could have organised that, duh! I mean I plan on starting my law degree next year,then what? Ill be good enough then? I can never really get to know why he let go of the idea  of "us".What I learnt about myself though is I am not so hard after all, there I was ready to let loose, love him with all his nonsense and yes compromise a bit. I can now relate to the thousand of women out there who have loved beyond common sense and I must admit I can never be as harsh as before,I have walked their stiletto's and I am wiser.As we grow we become less judgemental and more forgiving simply because we go through stuff. The next time I fall for anyone again I will know better, they say when love comes and knocks you down just get back up. This is exactly what I am doing getting up.Its a terrible thing to let anyone take away your ability to love so I am not giving up on Sir love yet!

                                
MY FAVOURITE LINES FROM SOMEBODY ALMOST WALKED OFF WIT ALL MY STUFF
(for colored girls only)
Somebody almost walked off wit all of my stuff
and didn't care enuf to send a note home sayin
i was late for my solo conversation
or two sizes to small for my own tacky skirts
what can anybody do wit somethin of no value on
an open market/did you get a dime for my things/
hey man/where you goin wid all my stuff......

now you can't have me less i give me away/& i waz
doin all that/till you run off on a good thing.....

somebody almost run off wit alla my staff/& i was standin
there/lookin at myself/the whole time
& it waznt a spirit that took my stuff/waz a man whose
ego walked round like Rodans's shadow/waz a man faster
than my innocence/waz a lover/i made too much
room for/almost run off wit alla my stuff/& didnt know i'd give it up so quick
/& the one runnig wit it/ don't know he got it/& i'm shouting this is mine/& he dont
know he got it/my stuff is the annonymous ripped off treassure
of the year/did you know somebody almost got away wit me/
me in a plastic under their arm......