TODAY

Its a beautiful day in Johannesburg! Its raining just the way I like, its tiny drops falling from the sky(can't set the shower at this pace) my people call this rain "pula ya medupi". My dad says this is the kind of rain that goes deep into the soil,very good for the crops cause its slow and mellow,its not rushed at all. They further call it "pula ya mahlohonolo" meaning its bringing with it blessings. For reasons I can't explain I woke up missing him in fact I cried but did not allow myself to let the tears out. Its a strange feeling, I know that if I can dwell on the feeling I'll cry until my eyes are swollen but I just won't allow myself to go there. I told your aunt about it and she casually asked me why I miss him and I said I don't know. To be honest I don't know maybe its all part of the process, as I write this I am still crying just that I am not letting the tears out (they are controllable). Things I'll always miss about him

His ability to to love me beyond what I sometimes could not comprehend
His big heart
The way he looked at me
How he is a man of his words
Punctuality (God I miss this, he made me look good)
How he took care of things
His calm nature
How he could never say no(must admit I abused this so much, could have been more kind)
NOW I'M CRYING,SO I'M GOING TO STOP HERE

Not sure if I should even post this,feeling almost naked!